Lost&Found before Christmas

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still two weeks before the Christmas, but you can already smell it everywhere. Even in the corner of this old city, where it used to be so closed. I cannot remember since when Christmas has become part of my life, which is so inseparable. It’s been years, I sent christmas postcards two weeks ahead and start missing people, who’s not around me. Life is a strange thing.

People start to write, especially when they are emotionally vulnerable and need somewhere to express. It’s such a natural thing. Tiny things can make me happy but seldom can make me feel voluntary to write. I write, because I grew older and know more about human beings. I gradually understand love and hate, tolerance and forgiveness. I never learned how to hate someone, but dislike. When I encounter someone I dislike, I ignore and try to behave myself normally without seeing this person. I don’t know how I manage to do this and never know, where I picked up this skill. Annoying thing is, acting this way can never give the others the chance to explain or show me, how nice they are. Maybe I lost many friends by doing this.

Was it only friends who I lost in 2016? What on earth does adulthood bring and can we really keep a balance between the lost and found during growing up?

Time flies. I can still not believe I am soon facing the 27th year of my life. My family found me before I was even born and endure all my silliness and share all my happiness. I am not someone who can take care of friendship very well, but I know how to make friends. In these years, I keep knowing, finding and losing friends. But I gradually found a way to keep the good ones around me or maybe they really try hard to stay with me. I found moments, when I was so proud of, so glamorous and so happy. Those moments stayed in my mind but left with time. I found beauty of life, beauty of different kinds of things, of different kinds of creatures. But I lost control of this trust of human beings. All the horrible things happened in the last several years make me so insecure and made me think, if it’s because my awareness grew or it’s just the world has changed to be an insecure place. I feel terrified by noticing the losing trust. because I know how hard to gain it back.

I lost Karl, he used to belong to me. And it was he found me from the beginning. I hope I can say bye-bye easily.

tbc…

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One of the best vacation experiences–Samui/Thailand 1

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A great vacation, can always, bring good mood.

As someone who cannot swim, tells you here officially, Thailand is still a wonderful travel destination:

I had no great expectations before the trip started. To be honest, I used to be one of those very narrow-minded people who has no idea what Thailand can offer. I was even worried about terrorist attack in Bangkok and doubted whether I could enjoy the vacation in such a place.

I arrived on 30. April 2016 morning around 10.30. Flight from Beijing to Bangkok was quiet comfortable, the only thing I regretted was, I should never book a flight so early. As Beijing is a huge city, I have to wake up at 3.30 a.m. I slept the whole way to Thailand and missed the meal on the flight, which is actually okay. But afterwards some friends told me, that Thailand Airline offers the best on-board meal than all other airlines, what a pity?!!! My dearest friend picked me up in the airport since I have no faith on my communication in Thailand, even though I know Bangkok is very international and I speak English. Having no trust is one of the worst things in the world, it builds up a huge wall before you really know someone/something. Then comes the first meal, a cup of ice Thai tea and some green curry beef. 🙂

Bangkok is a strange city, it’s a mixture of cosmopolitan and poor, traditional and big east asian city. Hard to describe my feeling while I was traveling through the city with metro. Shortly before we got to the hotel, it started to rain very heavily, my friend, who lived there for years told me, this is quiet normal in Bangkok and now the rainy season is coming soon. So we decided to have a little drink first to celebrate the reunion joy and had fun by looking this city in the rain. Around 2 hours after the landing, I finally arrived in our hotel in Bangkok, which is located in city centre close to several huge shopping malls. I was astonished by the brands they are selling. Seems like there’s only rich inhabitants.

After Check-in I did something even surprised me. I FELL ASLEEP!! Such a shame for someone like me, who’s always motivated, energetic and curious… then we went to meet some other friends and headed up to a famous restaurant. Locals say it was one of the favorite places where the princess get her food. We ordered at least 10 different dishes and I have to say, each of them can bring you to a taste-orgasm. Especially their coconut ice-cream.

So here’s the Name: Krua Apsorn (remember it and try it!)

We walked out of the restaurant with full of satisfaction and drove 20 minutes to a night market: Asiatic (my friend said it’s an amusement park). Anyway I am not so impressed except I was still in the shock how cheap things are in Thailand ( or maybe how expensive Beijing has become). But if you get enough time, should pay it a visit in the evening and do some typical tourists things;)

Ps: I need to go to Bed now and will continue the post tomorrow^^

Finding Your People

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The Waiting's avatarThe Waiting

I have always liked thinking about the relative simplicity of early humans. I imagine that they lacked the need to organize their peers into little piles like we do today: best friends, colleagues, schoolmates, hated enemies, people they drank with, people they prayed with. There was no hustle and bustle to meet with the disparate groups at dumb meetings. All the human interaction our distant relatives needed could be found within their clans.

The clan just was. In the day-to-day task of survival, there was no time or necessity to look for others outside it who you could “identify” with better or who would support your idealized image of yourself. You were too busy inventing fire, not because you wanted to patent it, but because you needed it to survive. There was no “unfriending” if someone looked at you weird or said something that ran counter to your view of…

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Second Week in the Peace Palace, the Hague

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well the life in the Hague can be described as the 世外桃源 in Chinese, which means the undiscovered heaven outside of the common customs. Especially, when the sun comes out, the beach is warm, the water is clean, you see the blue sky connect the blue sea mix with each other showed up in your eye as one picture, the beauty is beyond the imagination.

People here are smart and friendly. The so called host family of mine, or the host lady, Sieta is one of the most wonderful women on the earth. She prepares great breakfast for me and the whole house is pretty clean, and she draws great pictures. Where I am staying has a big balcony, though I seldom walk outside of the door, don’t really understand why. The temperature is not always great, I generally feel cold or cool all the time, in July, the highest temperature we can get is 25 Celsius or even lower I guess.

I am now sitting in front of the window, facing the backyard of the Peace palace, the library is not a big one, but a quiet one, with many stages, though I don’t think I like the stages, it makes me feel about the authority somehow. Besides many stages, there are uncountable books only for international law, which is amazing!

One and half week has passed like one AUGENBLICK, some courses I do enjoy, some not. Not many left in my brain right after the bell. I think international law is so close connected with the practice, the theory delivered by Prof. Momtaz is thick as the several layer of the Chinese Great Wall, he complained that we haven’t read enough yesterday during the seminar, which is indeed very embarrassing.

It is quite hard for me to feel free for a while, the older I get, the more I understand about the complex of the life.People always see the brightness of you, they never care how hard you have been through, everywhere is the same.